I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
