and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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