Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Randomize