Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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