I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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