How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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