Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
