I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
