i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
