Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
