just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I skipped work to stalk him.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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