Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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