Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize
