Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
