Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I think my moral compass just broke
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