Porn is love you can see.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
