so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
My orgasm happened in two different decades
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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