Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
