If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
