it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
