You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
