Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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