C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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