I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
