I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
