Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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