do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
