everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
