The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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