Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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