All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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