The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
