I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
