the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
