Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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