Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
