Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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