Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
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