Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Randomize
