Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
it's like iHOP with fire
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
