just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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