Ambien. No doubt about it.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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