i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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