he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
You need Xanax blowdarts
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
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