Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
