i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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