yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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