This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
