trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
