Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
is it fun? or sober?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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