So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize