Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
