I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
