he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
