i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
you would pick up someone in the library
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
