This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
