a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Randomize