winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Text me some of your sweat
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize