the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize