Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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