No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
