on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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