Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
