why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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