That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
