My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
