Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
