if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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