Non-Jews are for practice
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
