There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Bang-toberfest begins!!
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
