Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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